Me: Tech Genius

Whoseline

Today I went to a HTML open lab in Carroll

Apparently you can use html on WordPress. I am using it right now. I feel like a robot. So I am writing in short sentences. I hope this works. I have never watched Whose Line is it Anyway.

I’m going to write a list because I learned how to do that.

  • I am not actually a robot
  • I think Donald Trump may be a robot
  • Don’t take my word on that
  • I am learning to HTML
  • The world is my tech-savvy oyster

Goodbye.

The worst day of my life

Do you ever feel like you’re gasping for breath while everything crumbles around you?

Do you ever wonder if it’s all worth it?

If there’s nothing true in this world?

Six minutes ago I tried an IPA I didn’t like.

If I had a flair for the dramatic I would tell you I couldn’t even finish it when it was sprinkled with my salty sadness.

What is life?

Thick Stock Supremacy

I am the proud new owner of 200 business cards.

I’m modest, but I allow myself to brag five times a day.

At 21, I’m ahead of the curve. Actually, I’m lapping some of you suckers.

While you all are studying for important tests and applying for prestigious internships, I’m sitting back and making a house of cards out of my 3.5 x 2 babies.

Sure, your resume may not have typos and you may not have had Dots candies for breakfast, but do you have business cards?

Maybe your comforter isn’t a Snuggie and maybe you aren’t in love with your pediatric dentist, but I want to stress: business cards.

And yes, I may still be unsure about basic things like ovulation and sending faxes, but guess what I have? Yeah, business cards.

You have a LinkedIn? Oh, that’s cute. Let me just clear my business cards off the table so I can look at your profile.

Some of you may already have business cards. That’s fine with me, it’s lonely at the top. (Also, have you guys gotten your Mensa invite yet?)

Like I said earlier, I don’t like to rub in my superiority, so I want to emphasize that I’m just like you! I still have to do basic tasks like paying utility bills and eating.

But soon I’m going to become a public notary. And then hasta luego you plebeians.

A Previous Post

Last week I wrote about the crisis that is the Chapel Hill Cosmic. In the beginning I made a joke comparing it to Ebola. Since that post, Ebola has made its way to America (at least it’s Dallas). Now that white people could get the virus, a whole new panic is the subject of Kansas dinner parties.

So the question is, do I still think Cosmic and Ebola are comparable?

Yes. Yes, I do.